Self- Esteem

I don't think people realize how much their actions effect the ones they are in a relationship with. When you cheat, lie, hit, or hurt the one you are with you are potentially damaging their psychological state and thus damaging their future selves.
Being married is hard enough but being married and cheated on in the first yea, also know as the happiest yer, of your marriage is life altering and devastating. As a child I was never the hot chick or the popular chick so needless to say I didn't have the greatest self esteem to begin with. But when my ex and i made the decision to get married I couldn't believe that someone cared about me enough to want to spend the rest of their life with me. Little did I know that no matter how great of a woman I was it still wasn't enough to keep him faithful. Even though my ex and I are good friends now does not mean that the wounds he left didn't turn into scars.
Even now I constantly feel that I am not good enough and that the smallest mistake on my part is going to push away any man that enters my life. I still act like myself with guys, I'm not about to act like someone or something that I'm not but when I am alone I think about the things I did or how I acted and pick out all the stupid shit I did or amplify how terrible I looked. When am I going to start to feel like I am worth it?
Even in all this I still believe in love and I always will. Everyday I become stronger and deep down I know that I am an amazing woman and I will find happiness.

So, if there is anyone reading this, no matter what happens...don't give up on love. It is the most powerful and beautiful thing in the world and it is worth everything you have and will go through.